Theme: Valentine
On Valentine’s Day, I posted a birthday card to my mother, who would have celebrated her 100th birthday on that very day if she was still with us. We always thought it was extra special that she was born on the holiday that celebrated love and devotion, which she certainly gave to us. So we had a double reason to celebrate, and still do. So many happy memories. I now want to continue her story in celebration of her life.
Mabel (ANDREW) HENSON with her two daughters. In honour of her 100th Valentines Day birthday, 14 Feb 2018
Mabel Marion ANDREW, probably in Summerside, PEI Mabel Marion ANDREW was born 14 Feb 1918 just before the end of WWI on her family farm in North St Eleanors, Prince Edward Island on the east coast of Canada. She was the oldest daughter and second of seven children born to Harry ANDREW and Nell RICHARDSON, and the namesake of her paternal Aunt Mabel MAY who did not have any children. There was work to do on the farm, and all children helped out as soon as they were able. Mom helped care for her younger siblings and was known to work in the fields and garden. But there was also school and church to attend, and many relatives and friends to visit. I grew up on the other side of the country, hearing about the many places and people that occupied my mother’s childhood rural farming community in PEI.
Distances were not large on PEI, but it wasn’t until my teenage years when I looked at a map of PEI (Canada’s smallest province) that I realized the true scale of the place. Prince Edward Island is only 3 miles across from shore to shore in that particular part of Prince County! North St Eleanors is on the north shore and Summerside on the southern shore, but still they are at most 3 miles apart. My perspective underwent a rather abrupt reality check that day. It was literally a “small world”! Now of course Summerside has grown and spread, and the two communities have since amalgamated.
Mom’s generation lived through the post-war recovery years of the 1920s, followed by the stock market crash of 1929 and the depression in the 1930s. While everyone needed food, the price that farmers could get for their crops was often less than the cost of labour to harvest them. My grandfather once told the story of having to abandon a field of turnips because he couldn’t afford to dig them up. It was a very hard time. Then WWII started and in 1941 the family farm was taken over by the government as part of the new air base and training centre for Atlantic Canada, where my grandfather later got work as a boiler man. I don’t think he was too sad to see the farm go.
Barely attaining adulthood by 1939, WWII took away so many of these young men and even women in my mother’s generation while in their prime. Their lives and their families were turned upside down during the six war years, by life altering experiences both at home and abroad. Mom’s life was no exception, as three of her brothers were old enough to enlist including Dean ANDREW who was critically injured while oversees. My Mom had already finished 10 years of school by then, which was as high as grade school went at that time. She moved to Summerside and got a clerical job there in the legal office of a relative Lowell Compton. According to one of her brothers: "She had this job after she left school. She proved very good at it. She had a good mind, and picked up the 'legalese'. It was a Compton firm she worked for." Mom also made new friends, and seemed to enjoy her new freedom and responsibilities. Her best friend during this time was Betty Manderson, known as “Mandy”, who may have been a nurse.
The following photos, many taken by Mom's uncle Fred MAY, give us a glimpse at her earlier years living in Prince Edward Island.
On right: Mabel HENSON holding daughter ClaudiaOn left: her sister Harriet CLARK and daughter Elaine, in SookeBC
I have already written about Mabel ANDREW's life in the period after WWII, and her decision in 1947 to travel on her own all the way across Canada, leaving her mother, her sister Harriet, and her maternal grandparents behind. Mom’s new life started on the west coast, near the town of Duncan on Vancouver Island, where her father, some of her other siblings, and her aunt and uncle Fred and Mabel May had recently moved. Mom first lived with her parents in a house on Herd Road north of Duncan before the family moved into Duncan, buying a small 2 bedroom house on Garden Street on the east side of the railway tracks.
At some point she met my father Claude Angus HENSON, a veteran as well as a miner and logger, whose sister Ethel KING lived in the area. In 1952 Claude and Mabel moved to Sooke, west of Victoria, and my sister and I were born in rapid succession. Then in 1954, tragedy struck when Claude was killed in a logging accident, leaving the whole family in shock and devastated.
Mom moved back to Duncan with her babies and once again moved in with her parents; it must have been a tight squeeze in their small house. She found work in the nearby Cowichan Senior Secondary School Office (where I later graduated). In 1959 her Aunt Mabel MAY (nee ANDREW) died, and as her namesake, Mom inherited her 2-bedroom house at 667 Coronation Ave in Duncan. She met John Gilbert TAYLOR, an English bachelor who was part owner of Taylor Bros Logging with his brother Geoffrey TAYLOR. He was known as Gilbert and lived in a boarding house two doors down the street from her house. I know very little of their short courtship except that their first date was square dancing in Mill Bay on the outdoor platform which used to be visible from the highway. Mom finally learned to drive using Gilbert’s large red and white Oldsmobile. And she gave up smoking.
At some point she met my father Claude Angus HENSON, a veteran as well as a miner and logger, whose sister Ethel KING lived in the area. In 1952 Claude and Mabel moved to Sooke, west of Victoria, and my sister and I were born in rapid succession. Then in 1954, tragedy struck when Claude was killed in a logging accident, leaving the whole family in shock and devastated.
Mom moved back to Duncan with her babies and once again moved in with her parents; it must have been a tight squeeze in their small house. She found work in the nearby Cowichan Senior Secondary School Office (where I later graduated). In 1959 her Aunt Mabel MAY (nee ANDREW) died, and as her namesake, Mom inherited her 2-bedroom house at 667 Coronation Ave in Duncan. She met John Gilbert TAYLOR, an English bachelor who was part owner of Taylor Bros Logging with his brother Geoffrey TAYLOR. He was known as Gilbert and lived in a boarding house two doors down the street from her house. I know very little of their short courtship except that their first date was square dancing in Mill Bay on the outdoor platform which used to be visible from the highway. Mom finally learned to drive using Gilbert’s large red and white Oldsmobile. And she gave up smoking.
Gilbert TAYLOR and Mabel HENSON arriving at theDuncan United Church for their wedding, 3 Jun 1960
Mom and Gilbert were married 3 Jun 1960 at the United Church in Duncan. Gilbert moved into Mom’s house and Mom quit her job to became a full time housewife. Under legal guidance and following the convention at that time, they both adopted me and my sister the following year, and legally changed our last name from HENSON to TAYLOR. I was not happy about the name change as I was old enough to know what was happening and I realized I was losing the surname given to me by my birth father. But I had absolutely no say in the matter.
In the summer of 1963, they sold Mom’s house in town and bought a farm 5 miles out of Duncan on the old Cowichan Lake Road, between Tansor and Sahtlam. Gilbert proceeded to log part of the property between the house and the road. This may have been necessary for financial reasons, but it was upsetting to lose most of the beautiful large evergreens, and created an awful eyesore that he made little effort to properly landscape. There were more adjustments needed because of the more isolated location, where we needed to bus to new schools, make new friends and meet new neighbours. And visiting my mother’s relatives was no longer within walking distance. We were on well water and septic tanks, and had to be very frugal with our water use, especially in the summertime.
In the summer of 1963, they sold Mom’s house in town and bought a farm 5 miles out of Duncan on the old Cowichan Lake Road, between Tansor and Sahtlam. Gilbert proceeded to log part of the property between the house and the road. This may have been necessary for financial reasons, but it was upsetting to lose most of the beautiful large evergreens, and created an awful eyesore that he made little effort to properly landscape. There were more adjustments needed because of the more isolated location, where we needed to bus to new schools, make new friends and meet new neighbours. And visiting my mother’s relatives was no longer within walking distance. We were on well water and septic tanks, and had to be very frugal with our water use, especially in the summertime.
Mabel TAYLOR and her parents Harry and Nell ANDREWat Claudia's wedding in Duncan in 1974
In the 1970s, Mom let her girls “fly the coup” at an early age to make their own way in the world, but she continued to be there whenever we needed her. She was there to help me find a place to stay when I moved 40 miles away to Victoria to attend university. In 1974 she was there when I was married in her church in Duncan, although Gilbert refused to give me away or have anything to do with the wedding. She was there to accompany me to Vancouver just after my younger son was born and needed surgery at the BC Children’s Hospital. She traveled down to the US to visit my sister and help out when her boys were young. Just to name a few examples. Mom did not like to drive over the winding Malahat, necessary if she wanted to visit us, and I regret that our visits to Duncan to visit her were not nearly often enough. In spite of keeping busy on the farm, she must have been quite lonely as Gilbert was not very social and they rarely went out to social events.
In the 1990s, Gilbert decided to buy Mom a house without consulting her, and purchased a 2-bedroom bungalow off of Gibbins Road closer to Duncan. I think the idea was to replace the house she already had when he married her. With the farm not sold, he didn’t stay at the new place that often. And then he announced that he was leaving Mom after over 30 years of marriage. He contacted my sister, then living in the US, and told her to come back home to look after Mom, and in 1995 she arrived with her two sons. It was a hard time for everyone. Gilbert subsequently sold the farm, moved out of the area and remarried twice after Mom died. In the end, he refused contact with my sister and I.
In the 1990s, Gilbert decided to buy Mom a house without consulting her, and purchased a 2-bedroom bungalow off of Gibbins Road closer to Duncan. I think the idea was to replace the house she already had when he married her. With the farm not sold, he didn’t stay at the new place that often. And then he announced that he was leaving Mom after over 30 years of marriage. He contacted my sister, then living in the US, and told her to come back home to look after Mom, and in 1995 she arrived with her two sons. It was a hard time for everyone. Gilbert subsequently sold the farm, moved out of the area and remarried twice after Mom died. In the end, he refused contact with my sister and I.
Mom returned to her Anglican faith, and was an active member of St Johns Church where she joined the various women’s groups. She helped out at church bazaars and when closing time approached, she was wont to buy some of the remaining knick-knacks, especially those made by children. They usually ended up in our Christmas packages. It was a lesson in charity and in showing appreciation for their creative efforts.
Never one to complain, Mom nevertheless suffered from arthritis, and underwent knee and hip replacement surgeries in later years. She was active with the Arthritis Society as well. After she turned 80 she would admit that she felt tired and seemed to really need that morning cup of coffee to get going. We all wrote it off as age related, but not long after her 82nd birthday in April 2000, she was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer. Like many in her generation, she had smoked for a number of years as a young adult, but quit in 1960. Although she never smoked after that, the cancer developed and spread to the lymph nodes, and she was given 6 months to live. Yet just over 3 weeks later on 20 May 2000, Mom passed away in hospital with us all by her bedside. We strongly believe that she chose that day to leave us, as it was the anniversary of her first husband Claude HENSON’s accidental death back in 1954. It took 46 years, but she was finally together with him again.
Mabel’s obituary was published on page 25 of the Cowichan Valley Citizen, Duncan BC on May 24, 2000:
Mabel’s obituary was published on page 25 of the Cowichan Valley Citizen, Duncan BC on May 24, 2000:
“TAYLOR, MABEL MARION (nee ANDREW) |  |
Mom had arranged to be buried in St Marys Anglican cemetery (the Church has been moved elsewhere, but their cemetery remains on Somenos Road), where her parents are also buried. Claude had been buried just down the road in the Municipal cemetery. But after Mom's memorial service, my sister and I were not yet ready to bury her ashes. Six years later we eventually buried her on the anniversary of Claude’s funeral, in a small private ceremony also attended by a few relatives. All considered, we thought that was the most appropriate time and way to put her to rest.
At the time of her memorial service, the outpouring of love for Mom was extremely heartwarming, and the church was packed to overflowing. One of my cousins shared the following testimonial about Mom, which speaks to both her character and her lasting legacy:
At the time of her memorial service, the outpouring of love for Mom was extremely heartwarming, and the church was packed to overflowing. One of my cousins shared the following testimonial about Mom, which speaks to both her character and her lasting legacy:
"Aunt Mabel was such a constant in our early lives, partly because of Dad’s powerful affection for her and partly because of his work with Gilbert and his brother. At any rate, because we saw her so often, especially out in the country, I have more of a “sense” of Aunt Mabel than specific recollections. Whenever we arrived, Aunt Mabel was hard at work. But, like Granny, she always had something to offer those of us who dropped in – juice or milk for the kids, tea for the grownups, and usually some cake or cookies. She always made sure we were warm enough and sat us down by the fire or heater – I guess what I think of is that sense of safety and comfort, with grown-ups talking in another room. I do remember going haying at Aunt Mabel’s when we were slightly older: she did up all or most of the food that day, and we had so much fun getting hay stuck in our hair and cutting our fingers. As with all of Dad’s sisters, food was a very important element of get-togethers, and provided the glue that kept the family in touch with one another.
I know that Dad loved Aunt Mabel very much. He was a close friend of Claude’s and I think, after his death, Aunt Mabel’s welfare was often a subject of concern for him. It pained him that she had to work so hard on the farm. I find that Dad’s love for Mabel and Eleanor (and theirs for him) has shaped my own feelings of tenderness for those two. And, like you, I was often struck by how smart Mabel was and how interested in the world – especially when I called to visit in later years."
Another cousin shared a story by her Dad about Mom and her inexperience with controlling horses. It seems that Mom was not a natural rider. I think the horses must have sensed her lack of resolve and knew she wouldn't hurt them, so they took advantage!
It's always revealing to learn other people's memories or impressions of a person we both know. These comments about my Mom were very touching, and I heartily agree. Yet I often saw the other side of Mom that liked to keep in the background and not "force" her opinions, wishes or thoughts on others, even though she did have some strong opinions. She also had a wonderful sense of humour. She was such a caring person, and always seemed to put others first. It was not her way to "rock the boat" and she was rarely outwardly assertive. Mom had her share of insecurities (don't we all?), often second guessing what would be best to do or say or act. I know she carried a lot of guilt around with her about some of the decisions she had made at various times in her life, perceiving they had caused others harm. But she kept the details about the hard times to herself. Although I felt that she was being overly hard on herself, it's difficult to see things from her perspective without more details. I so wanted to reassure her that she really was a wonderful person, but didn't really know how to make her believe it. She WAS smart but I remember her being self-depreciating about that too. We once talked about the final grades she got in school at the end grade 10. If memory serves me, she said she graduated in all but 1 subject. Her best subject was math (perhaps 80%?), but she didn't quite make it in history (perhaps 48 or 49%?) (dear knows where my notes on that little story are so I can't check the details). She obviously regretted that failure. I look on the positive side and celebrate her successes and her strengths and her caring nature.
It's always revealing to learn other people's memories or impressions of a person we both know. These comments about my Mom were very touching, and I heartily agree. Yet I often saw the other side of Mom that liked to keep in the background and not "force" her opinions, wishes or thoughts on others, even though she did have some strong opinions. She also had a wonderful sense of humour. She was such a caring person, and always seemed to put others first. It was not her way to "rock the boat" and she was rarely outwardly assertive. Mom had her share of insecurities (don't we all?), often second guessing what would be best to do or say or act. I know she carried a lot of guilt around with her about some of the decisions she had made at various times in her life, perceiving they had caused others harm. But she kept the details about the hard times to herself. Although I felt that she was being overly hard on herself, it's difficult to see things from her perspective without more details. I so wanted to reassure her that she really was a wonderful person, but didn't really know how to make her believe it. She WAS smart but I remember her being self-depreciating about that too. We once talked about the final grades she got in school at the end grade 10. If memory serves me, she said she graduated in all but 1 subject. Her best subject was math (perhaps 80%?), but she didn't quite make it in history (perhaps 48 or 49%?) (dear knows where my notes on that little story are so I can't check the details). She obviously regretted that failure. I look on the positive side and celebrate her successes and her strengths and her caring nature.
As mentioned above, food was always at the centre of hospitality for the Andrew women. And I remember those haying "parties" too, when many gathered to help with the work, so needed to be fed (a farmer's wife's duty!) One year was particularly hot when I helped out in the field, stacking, loading and unloading bails of hay. Hard work for sure. Other years I helped Mom in the kitchen and delivered rounds of food and drink to the fields or barn. During the rest of the year we had a herd of polled Hereford cattle to care for. I remember one year after calving season I helped with the paperwork to register the new arrivals, and my Mom was very grateful for my efforts. I enjoyed doing it because I got to dream up appropriate official names for the calves, based in part on their official pedigree. Perhaps that was the first sign of my budding interest in our family’s genealogy!
In 2013 I created a photo book titled “ANDREW, RICHARDSON, COMPTON - Ancestry of Mabel Marion ANDREW HENSON TAYLOR 1918-2000“. It's an overview of the family, with limited text linking the photos and the people together. If interested, you can view all the pages of this book on the Shutterfly website via a link in a previous post: “A Picture Book About My Mother and Her Ancestors”.
Mabel TAYLOR with her mother Nell ANDREW, daughter Claudia and 2 grandsons. 4 generations in 1990.
Mom, we love and miss you and thank you for all your love and your gentle heart. You will forever be my special Valentine. Rest in peace.
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